Coping With Suicidal Thoughts and Self-Harm

Surviving trauma, especially domestic abuse or sexual violence can lead to waves of emotional pain that feel impossible to bear. Some days may feel heavy. Some nights might feel endless. And in those moments, thoughts of ending your life or harming yourself can creep in.

If you are feeling this way,  you are not alone, and help is available.

You do not have to carry this pain by yourself.

These Feelings Are a Response to Trauma, Not a Reflection of Who You Are

Self-harm and suicidal thoughts often come from a place of deep hurt. They are a sign that your nervous system has been overwhelmed, not that you’ve done anything wrong. These thoughts are not shameful. They are signals that you’re in need of care, comfort, and support.

If You Are in Crisis Now

If you are in immediate danger or have harmed yourself, please seek help straight away:

• Call 999 or go to your local A&E department.
• Contact Samaritans on 116 123 – free, confidential, and open 24/7.
• You can also text SHOUT to 85258 for support via messaging.

You don’t have to explain everything to get support. Simply saying “I need help” is enough.

Talk to Someone You Trust

Sharing what you’re feeling with a trusted friend, support worker, GP, or therapist can lift some of the weight. You don’t need to have the right words. You could simply say, “I’m really struggling right now.”

People want to help. Let them in.

Practical Things That May Help in the Moment

When emotions feel unmanageable, try one of these grounding ideas:

• Hold a cold object like a spoon from the fridge or ice wrapped in a cloth. The shock of the cold can break the mental spiral.
• Write down your feelings in a notebook or on your phone. Let the thoughts out—uncensored, unfiltered.
• Repeat a mantra like: “This will pass. I am not alone. I am doing my best.”
• Distract with something absorbing, like a game, puzzle, or music.
• Use a harm-reduction alternative (e.g. snapping an elastic band, holding an ice cube, or drawing on your skin) to redirect the urge without causing injury.

These won’t erase the pain, but they can give you enough space to get through the moment.

Build a Safety Plan

You might find it helpful to create a simple safety plan for the tough days. It can include:

• Names and numbers of people or services you can contact
• Safe places you can go
• Activities that help distract or calm you
• A reminder: This is temporary. I will not feel like this forever.

Keep it somewhere you can find it easily, on your phone, by your bed, or in your wallet.

You Deserve to Be Here

The thoughts you’re having may feel intense and frightening but they are not permanent. Healing is still possible, even when it feels out of reach. You have already survived something no one should have to endure. That strength is still within you.

Please reach out. You are not a burden. You are a human being in pain who deserves support, dignity, and care.

You matter. You are needed. You are not alone.