Mirror Work, Speaking Kindly to Yourself

After trauma, the way we speak to ourselves can change, often becoming harsh, doubting or full of guilt. But healing starts when we offer ourselves the same compassion we’d give to someone we love.

One gentle, powerful self-care practice is to look into the mirror and speak directly to yourself. It’s about reconnecting with the person looking back at you, someone who has been through too much, and still stands strong.

Why Speak to Yourself in the Mirror?

You might feel unsure at first. Many people do. But saying kind, honest words out loud can interrupt self-blame and slowly rebuild your self-worth. It’s not about pretending everything’s okay, it’s about recognising that you matter, even in the hardest moments.

What You Might Say

Here are a few phrases to try. You don’t need to say them all. You can speak them silently, whisper them, or write them down if saying them aloud feels too difficult.

• “I believe you.”
  Your experience is real. Your feelings are valid. Doubting yourself is a common trauma response, but it doesn’t mean your story isn’t true.
• “It’s not your fault.”
  You did not deserve what happened. No one asks to be abused or assaulted. The blame lies solely with the person who caused harm.
• “You are strong.”
  Strength isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about surviving, feeling, getting up again. You have already shown more strength than you know.
• “You are not alone.”
  Many people have been through similar pain. There are safe, non-judgemental spaces to talk, when you’re ready.
• “You can ask for help when it feels right.”
  There is no deadline for reaching out. Take your time. When you’re ready, there are people who want to listen.
• “Healing is possible.”
  You won’t always feel like this. The pain won’t vanish overnight, but healing does happen, day by day.
• “You deserve kindness.”
  Whether it’s a warm meal, rest, or gentle words , self-care isn’t selfish.
• “You have a future.”
  Your story isn’t finished. There’s room for peace, connection, and joy, even if they feel far away right now.
• “You are worthy.”
  Worth isn’t something you earn. You already have it, just by being here.

Start Small, Be Consistent

You don’t have to do this every day or say all the words perfectly. Even a few seconds in front of the mirror, saying one kind phrase, can make a difference. Over time, the way you speak to yourself may begin to soften.

If this feels too difficult today, that’s okay too. Just reading these words is a start.