What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a deliberate pattern of behaviour used to harm, punish or frighten someone. It involves controlling aspects of a person’s life, what they wear, where they go, who they speak to, or how they spend money. It slowly chips away at someone’s confidence and independence until they feel trapped.
It often happens gradually and behind closed doors, which is why it can go unrecognised, even by the victim themselves.
Is coercive control a crime?
Yes. Under the UK Serious Crime Act 2015, coercive or controlling behaviour in an intimate or family relationship is a criminal offence.
The law applies if:
- The behaviour causes the victim to fear violence on at least two occasions, or
- It causes serious alarm or distress that has a substantial impact on their daily life
A conviction can lead to up to 5 years in prison, a fine, or both.
What are the psychological effects of coercive control?
Victims of coercive control often experience:
- Anxiety and depression
- Low self-esteem
- Self-blame or shame
- Panic attacks
- PTSD or trauma responses
- Social withdrawal and isolation
Because there are often no visible signs of harm, victims may struggle to seek help or even realise they’re being abused.
How can I recognise coercive control in my own relationship?
You might be experiencing coercive control if you:
- Constantly feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”
- Ask permission for everyday tasks or choices
- Feel unable to express your own thoughts or needs
- Doubt your own memory or judgement
- Avoid friends or family to keep the peace
- Are scared of your partner’s reaction to small things
If these sound familiar, you are not alone and it is not your fault.
What can I do if I suspect someone is being controlled?
- Listen without judgement. They may not yet realise they’re being abused.
- Avoid criticising their partner, which might push them away.
- Gently name the behaviour if they’re open to it: “It sounds like he’s trying to isolate you.”
- Encourage them to speak to a support service, even if they’re not ready to leave.
- Let them know you believe them and that you’re there for them no matter what.
Coercive control is about power, fear, and manipulation. Whether you’re experiencing it yourself or worried about someone else, remember, abuse is never your fault. You deserve safety, respect, and support.
You deserve support. You are not alone. Call us today.